My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
