and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
