He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
