I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
