...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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