I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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