you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
