make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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