I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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