okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
