Already got asked if we're dating
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
