Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
