his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
