i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
