I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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