38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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