I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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