Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
