proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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