Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
