Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I want to fling myself into the sun
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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