i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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