I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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