Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
