So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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