I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
