He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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