my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
