when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
