He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
