I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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