I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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