Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
