I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
