I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
