whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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