I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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