24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
