For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
