he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
