i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
