i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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