I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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