Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if only i could text you this smell
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize
