sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
