If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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