is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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