just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
