Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
