I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
