He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
