I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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