I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
